Pit Vs Zelda - A Pretty But Tricky Princess
by CinnyGirl5
Summary: The Goddess’s right hand angel is set to fight the beautiful Princess of Hyrule. However, this turns out to be no ordinary battle, as the princess may be a little TOO beautiful. Pit ends up falling head over heels for his charming opponent at first sight! Despite feeling a little uncomfortable at first, Zelda devises a plan to use her opponent’s lust to her own advantage in battle.


"_For our first combatant, The Goddess's right hand angel who never learned how to read! Please welcome to the stage, PIT!"_

Pit came soaring out of the sky down to the stage in a dramatic entrance before turning to the crowd, smiling and striking a pose with a peace sign. He received an immensely warm welcome as they cheered him on. Shortly after, he turned back around and readied his weapons for his incoming opponent.

...which he had no idea was going to be. He couldn't check the sign because he can't read.

"_And his opponent, the young and beautiful Princess of Hyrule whose masterful magic is nothing to be messed with! Please welcome to the stage, ZELDA!" _

Zelda teleported gracefully into the right side of the stage, greeting the crowd with a vibrant, energetic wave as well as a charming smile and giggle. As usual, many of the men fell head over heels for her at first sight. Her bubbly personality and stunning good looks made her an exceptionally popular fighter who always got the loudest cheers for her entrances. After her warm welcome, she turned around to face her opponent as she flicked back her shiny golden hair.

...But something wasn't right. As she turned to her foe, she noticed him staring at her with giant eyes, as well as a wide open mouth. He was also completely immobile, not even stopping to blink. Zelda was starting to feel uncomfortable and a little freaked out by this. "Um, are you okay?" She asked with a slight tremble in her voice, but received no response.

Every passing second made her feel increasingly uneasy. He continued to stare her down. Something definitely wasn't right. _"Did someone cast a spell on him or something? Am I being tricked? Is- is there a spider on my face?!" _were the thoughts rushing through her mind as a look of discomfort took over her usually cheerful face.

Her racing thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the announcer.

"THREE,"

"TWO,"

"ONE,"

"GO!!!"

...But he still wasn't moving! This was spooking her out a lot. "Hellooooooo...?" Said the princess along with a small wave to try and snap him out of it, but to no avail.

The young girl began to lose her patience, which was uncharacteristic of her. He was making her feel too uneasy for her to handle. She was here to battle, not to be stared down by a creep! "Um, What's going o-?" Asked the princess as she turned her head to the guard.

But before she could finish her sentence, the angel seemingly sprung back to life since he had to blink. "AAAAAAH!" Screamed the angel as he realized what he'd just been doing for the past few minutes. "I-I'm so sorry my love- UM, I MEAN, MILADY- NO! UMM, ZELDA! I'M SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!"

The princess took a slight step back in shock and attempted to muster up a fake smile. "Oh! I-It's okay! Don't worry about it..." but her facade completely contrasted her true thoughts. "_DID HE JUST SAY 'MY LOVE'?! Are my opponents falling for me too now?! I'm not even flirting!..."_

Pit just couldn't take his eyes off the girl's gorgeous face. Everything about her was truly breathtaking. From her beautifully combed golden hair, to her adorable smile, to her elegant, majestic royal dress and to her stunningly alluring good looks. She was perfect. "She's so beautiful..." the angel accidentally wondered out loud.

_"_Oh, thank you! You're cute too I guess...?" That was a bald faced lie, but one that someone as gullible as Pit would believe without a second thought. The Hylian Princess didn't sense much charm from him and was more uncomfortable than anything, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings, at least not yet.

"W-WAIT, DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD???" Pit's cheeks turned a bright shade of red. "Uhhh... YOU HEARD NOTHING, OKAY?!" The crowd found Pit's intense struggle and embarassment to be hilarious. He was as red as a fresh tomato and kept stumbling over his words. "WAIT, Did she just call me cute?!?!" Even Zelda herself was beginning to chuckle a little under her breath. She couldn't help but feel flattered and amused that her looks alone could make someone lose all composure like this.

"Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod... marry me." Pit knelt down on one knee, formed a begging shape with his hands and literally tried to PROPOSE TO HIS OPPONENT just seconds after meeting her. The crowd sat there in shock and disbelief at how ridiculous this whole thing was. Pit had a reputation of being a goofball, but not to THIS extent.

"What are you doing..." Palutena facepalmed in pure disappointment as she spoke to herself. She told Pit that she wouldn't be assisting him during battles apart from granting him the power of flight. He'd need to win by himself. Unfortunately, this is what happens when he's left to fight without the guidance of his Goddess.

"Wha- are you joking?! This is all so sudden..." Zelda couldn't believe what was happening.

"NO! PLEASE!" He sounded like the most desperate virgin ever.

After a while, the princess lifted her hand away from her mouth and instead rested her left hand finger on her left cheek, going into a thinking pose, and smirked as her eyes wandered to the side a little. "...I'll think about it." She knew that'd annoy Link if he were watching, and the thought of seeing his reaction tickled her.

"Wait, you're serious?!" Pit replied in astonishment.

"MmmHmm... I'll consider it further if you can beat me in battle ;)" Challenged the Princess, giving him a little wink to entice him further. She needed to distract him for just a few more seconds.

"B-but I don't even wanna hurt you..."

"Awww, then I'm afraid it's a no then." She casted a fake look of disappointment over her captivating face.

_"...Is she really gonna do it if she loses?" "__Nah, there's no way! She's just messing with him. Besides, she's taken!" _mumbled a few audience members as they giggled at how preposterous the entire situation was. It was as if Zelda hypnotized him with her looks and had turned him hysterical.

"N-NO, WAIT! OKAY FINE I'LL FIGHT!" He was determined to beat down his love at first sight to take her heart.

"_He seriously just agreed to it like that?! How gullible and desperate can he be?!" _Thought the princess. Nevertheless, she was glad that her deal finally motivated him to fight. All of this romantic stuff was wearing her out. _"_So, are you ready?" Questioned the young princess as she lit up her fingers with sparkling magical energy.

Suddenly seeing her fingers light up intimidated the naive angel. "WOAH- Uh, I mean- YES! BRING IT O-"

But before he could finish, a strong, purple knight recklessly charged into him from behind with a deadly sword in hand.

As Pit was all tangled up in his romantic thoughts, Zelda began to secretly summon a Phantom behind him to prepare an ambush. He was far too dazed to even begin to notice.

"AAAAAH!" Screamed the angel as he was launched right into the princess's clutches, giving her the perfect opportunity to combo from it. She elegantly spun around in the air spreading her arms out wide, damaging her foe with her sparkling white magic hands and sending him away with the final hit.

"Haha, so sorry about that." Said the princess with a slight hint of sarcasm in her tone as she looked down at her wounded opponent.

"Ouch! What was that?!? You can't just call your friend in behind me like that to help! And I wasn't ready! That's cheating!!" Shouted Pit as he was still laying on the ground.

"It's not my fault that you weren't paying attention ;)" she winked to agitate him a little as she rested her hands on her hips. Seeing him mad was cute. "Also, it's called magic."

"Wait, WHAT?? You know magic?!" Pit shouted in shock.

"MmmHmm!" After seeing that terrified look on the poor angel's face, the princess couldn't help but giggle. "You probably thought I was just some ordinary princess and a free win, didn't you?"

Pit blushed. It's like she just read his thoughts word for word. "_Magic, mind reading AND beauty?! Who is this girl???" _He thought to himself.

_"_I thought so_." _Said Zelda. His shocked yet confused facial expression said it all. "Ahahaha! You're so cute when you're frustrated!" The princess continued. Her laugh irritated him, but hearing her call him cute instantly made him fall head over heels again right after. "Remember our deal? I'll think about being yours if you can beat me." She reminded him to entice him further. It was a sort of taunt, egging him on to fight by offering her love.

This was frustrating for Pit. He absolutely adored this girl and went hysterical for her, but her magic was insanely frightening and he wasn't sure he could win. "I don't know if I can do this..."

It tickled the dainty princess that his confidence dropped so significantly after witnessing her magic. "Awww, is the angel intimidated by the little princess?" Taunted the girl in a condescending tone with an aggravating grin on her face. The crowd giggled at her remark.

As breathtakingly attractive as the princess was, her smile would get annoying if it were used in the heat of battle. Zelda's taunt lit a fire within her opponent. He couldn't just let her humiliate him like that.. "Grrr, you're kinda annoying, you know that?"

"Maybe, so you'd better come at me if you wanna lose that virginity of yours!" Zelda began to beckon her foe, inciting him to attack. She was baiting him using feelings of both anger and love, moreso the latter, and it was working flawlessly.

Pit got even angrier at her second taunt as the crowd chuckled at it. "Grrrr, I'll make you eat those words!"

"Haha, we'll see about that! Try me." Replied the girl, egging her opponent on to attack.

Pit split his bow into two halves and dashed at the cute, yet sassy Hylian Princess. The edges of his bow were dangerously sharp. He striked with both blades into the princess's body, but Zelda dodged to the side just in time and retaliated by grasping him using her magical right hand. She swiftly tossed the angel behind her off the right side of the battlefield. The angel franticly attempted to recover using the power of flight, but Zelda wasn't going to let it be a walk in the park. As he effortlessly flew through the sky, she summoned Din's Fire, a dangerous ball of fire that glided through the air and exploded upon impact. She lined it up juuuuuust right so that he drifted right into its destructive detonation.

Pit shrieked in pain as the ball of fire shot him down. "Ahahahahaha!" The princess laughed mockingly as she waved goodbye to her struggling foe to tease him. It got the crowd chuckling again. Calling this battle unusual would be a severe understatement, but watching a pretty princess trick and toy with her foe was hilarious.

Pit only just managed to grab the ledge, barely making a recovery. "That was close..." said the angel, sighing in relief. "...Wait, where is she?! I heard her annoying laugh just a second ago!" The princess was nowhere to be seen. Feelings of both confusion and anxiety flowed through his body. "C-can you turn invisible too?! Why is my opponent so overpowered?!" He walked closer to the center of the stage and scanned his surroundings, but there were no signs of a princess.

...Until he felt a light tap on his shoulder.

The angel frantically turned around and was greeted by an immensely strong magic attack from the girls' illuminating hands. Pit was launched away, back onto the ground in severe pain.

"SHE _CAN _TURN INVISIBLE?!?!" Pit shrieked in disbelief.

"It's teleportation, actually." Zelda responded with a smug grin on her face.

"THAT'S STILL NOT FAIR! WHO AM I FIGHTING?!?" Pit's confusion and anger were evident in his tone.

Zelda giggled at her foe's outburst. "Ahahahaha! Oooooh, am I sensing a little frustration in that voice of yours?" Her condescending tone made her mockery all the more irritating.

"Ugh, shut up!" Pit replied emotionally.

"Hehe! You'd better not lose your little temper at the girl of your dreams. It'll only lower your chances ;)" She was enjoying messing with her opponent to get a rise out of him. It was cute when he got frustrated.

As annoying as her comments were, Zelda was far too pretty for Pit to get too mad at. Plus, she was right. Pit eventually stood up and got ready to fight.

Zelda waited patiently for her foe's next move. The angel dashed at her relentlessly with his two blades and managed to catch her off guard and land his first hit. As the girl was blasted into the air, he followed up by using the power of flight to chase her and connect more hits. Once she'd been sent even further, he reconnected his blades and fired a luminescent Light Arrow, guiding it straight into his foe's body for maximum damage.

The princess cried in pain as she fell to the ground.

"HA!" Shouted Pit triumphantly as he looked down at his wounded opponent as she knelt down in pain. The look on poor Zelda's face was so distressed and low-spirited, a complete contrast from her usual bubbly self. She looked as if she were about to cry in pain.

That depressed look sent the angel into a spiral of guilt and worry. How could he do such a thing to someone as cute as her? "What have I done... are you OK princess?" Asked the angel in shame, but no response was received. "Ohno ohno ohno ohno... I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T WANNA HURT YOU BUT..." She looked as if she were trying her absolute hardest not to let out a tear.

"Wait, is she seriously gonna cry?! She was acting all cocky just a second ago!" Commented one audience member.

"Of course not. Look over there."

Pit knelt down to the girl in an attempt to aid her in some way, but that's when she uttered the word which sent shivers down the angel's spine.

"Gotchaaa!" Shouted the tricky princess in a triumphant tone as she clicked her fingers.

Before Pit could even react, another Phantom Knight came charging from behind, striking him once again in the same manner.

"W-wait, wha- AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Pit shrieked in pain as he was blasted over the princess's head back to the corner of the stage, creating a deafening thud sound upon colliding with the floor.

Zelda sprung from the ground and swaggered her way over to her bruised opponent. "Ahahahahaha! You're _soooooo_ gullible! How did you fall for that twice in a row?!"

Her constant mockery as well as deceit had Pit exasperated at his point. He couldn't stand this humiliation, no matter how good looking she was. "SHUT UP! YOU'RE CHEATING!! TURNING INVISIBLE, SUMMONING KNIGHTS TO FIGHT FOR YOU, _AND _TELEPORTATION?!?!"

"Maybe it wouldn't be so frustrating for you if you had a decent head on your soldiers ;)" Taunted the princess, irritating her opponent further.

"I AM _NOT _DUMB! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!!!" It was apparent that the angel was becoming overwhelmed by his anger at the girl.

"Awww, there's that cute little frustrated expression on your face again! Have you lost your temper, little boy?" Her condescending tone sounded like she was talking to a baby, and it had him growling in pure anger. "By the way, did you really believe that I would marry you just like that had you won? YOU of all people?! Ahahahaha!" Zelda tried her absolute hardest to contain her laughter just as Pit attempted to surpress his anger, but neither of them succeeded.

"W-Wait, what?!?! You LIED TO ME???!" The angel was hit with a sudden shock and dissappointment, quickly turning into and even greater surge of frustration.

"Of course I was! Just look at yourself! Though of course I didn't expect someone as mindless as you to catch on to that." Zelda observed as her opponent not only turned a bright shade of red, but also began to convulse violently and the ground in his rage. "Hehe, salty? I'm taken by the way ;)" Zelda smirked, giving him a smug wink to raise that temperature higher.

And that final taunt was the one that tipped him over the edge.

He absolutely couldn't take it anymore. The princess toyed with him, tricked him and then humiliated him as she giggled tauntingly the entire time. Pit let out a huge scream that echoed across the entire arena. He stood up and charged relentlessly at the giggling girl as she beckoned him with her right hand and rested her left one on her hip. Her confident manner only aggravated him more.

Zelda retaliated with a quick, long ranged magic beam emitted from her hand to startle the angel as he rushed into her clutches. Once it connected, she had ample time to jump and follow up with a devestating lightning kick straight to the face, dealing major damage. The charming princess then began to set up a Phantom Knight in front of her as her foolish foe flew into the sky. Once the angry angel had got back on his feet, the princess immediately began to provoke him.

"Hehe, is that the best you've got?" Zelda taunted with hands on her hips to get the salt rushing through his veins, as if it wasn't already. Her only focus now was infuriating her opponent as much as possible and taunting him into her traps. As much as Pit desperately wanted to slice the tauntress into thousands of little pieces, the knight stood readily in front of her made it feel impossible. She could release it at any second and he'd go flying. It frustrated him immensely, which is exactly what she wanted. The Angel attempted to instead shoot the girl down from long range with his Light Arrows, but it proved useless with the knight acting as her meat shield, adding to his frustration. After watching his failed attempt to counter, the princess beckoned her foe, tempting him into her trap by irritating the living hell out of him. "Oooh, is somebody a little _scared_ of the oh-so innocent princess?!" She taunted to bait her enemy. That one never failed to rile opponents up. Nothing was more embarassing and anger-inducing than being humiliated by a pretty princess in a dress suggesting that you're afraid of her.

Pit fell for the bait, to no surprise, considering how riled up he already was. He shouted in anger as he persued the Hylian Princess. Upon rushing into the Knight's range, he quickly dodged to the side in an attempt to avoid his brutal charge.

...But Zelda saw it coming. In anticipation of his dodge, she blasted a Dins Fire to the side to catch him. In his blinding rage, the angel never saw it coming and was blasted away for what felt like the millionth time. Then, she commanded the Phantom Knight to charge forward, causing its huge arching slash to follow up from the explosion.

Once again, The angel found himself collapsed on the floor in overwhelming pain and anger. He was almost finished. Zelda wasn't about to give him a change to regain composure.

"Hahaha! You're so easy to trick! Looks like you don't amount to much without that goddess of yours carrying you on her back." Taunted the princess as she walked forward and knelt down to her foe, giving him that enraging little smirk to wind him up some more. The smile he once saw as breathtakingly adorable now filled him to the brim with pure rage.

"SHUT UUUUUUUUUP!!!!!" Pit shrieked louder than ever in his uncontrollable frustration. Zelda couldn't help but chuckle. "W-why did you lie to me..." he continued with a tremble in his voice.

"Awww, I'm _soooooo_ sorry for hurting your precious little feelings." Zelda replied in a sarcastic tone, causing her opponent to glow an even brighter shade of red.

"_BE QUIET!!!!!" _Shrieked the angel even louder than before, causing the princess to giggle once again. "OH, YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?!?!" Pit responded in frustration.

"MmmHmm! What are you gonna do about it, hmm? Stab me with your little sword?" Challenged the princess. Pit's temperature managed to somehow rise even higher. He began to growl in anger.

"Ooooooh, looks like the angel's losing his cool again...!" She continued to mock and bait her opponent. Every time a new sign of anger showed itself, she attacked it with her mindgames do induce more rage.

The angel's grunts grew louder as he got closer and closer to losing it.

"Oooh, I'm _soooooo_ intimidated! So much anger and frustration! Not a very attractive emotion you know ;) you'll need to control that temper of yours if you want a chance with the ladies!" Zelda really knew how to get under his skin. The crowd continued to giggle away at what was happening, adding to the angel's dangerous fury.

Pit let out one more deafening scream.

Zelda sprung up and jumped back a little in preparation for his inevitable outburst. She beckoned the raging beast once more. "Haha! Come on, coward! Let your anger run loose, I dare you!"

And with that, Pit charged recklessly at the source of his anger at full force, shouting uncontrollably as he dashed into her.

The sassy princess interrupted his charge the same way as before with a long ranged magic shot from her hand. This time though, as the angel was still startled, she shifted to the side of him and shouted "over hereeee!" tauntingly. After coming to his senses and hearing the agitating voice, he turned and carelessly slashed at her. Forseeing the predictable attack, Zelda dodged backwards and caught the angel's arm as it slashed, quickly swiped the weapon out of his hand and then teleported out of his range. Now both combatants had half of the bow each.

"WHAT?!! GIVE THAT BACK NOW!!!!" Pit was furious. Not only was she taunting and humiliating him at every turn, but now she was stealing his weapons?!

Zelda couldn't help but put that infuriating smirk right on her face again. "Make me!" She egged him on to approach. "Come ooooon! You want this, don't you? Come and get iiiiit!" Replied the princess tauntingly. She dangled the sharp weapon in one hand as she beckoned him with the other. He had no choice but to come at her.

The princess's beckoning had been very effective the entire battle. He couldn't resist the urge to smack her in the face whenever she began acting smug, especially not this time. The angel charged recklessly once again with only one blade in his right hand. Just as he was about to strike, Zelda performed a well-timed Nayru's Love, which surrounded herself in a damaging crystal blue diamond, turning her invincible for a short time. It completely countered her opponent's initial attack and sent him flying instead. As he was still soaring off, the princess dashed up to him and striked him with his own weapon, launching him offstage and causing him to drop the second half.

As Zelda picked up the second half of the weapon, an idea popped into her head, one that would drive her poor little opponent completely insane (as if he wasn't already).

As Pit barely managed to recover to the stage, he looked completely out of breath. "I- I'm done... just finish me already..." Said the angel as he fell to the ground. It seemed like the princess had broken him. There was no way he could fight any longer.

"...Make me!" A feminine voice called from the other corner of the stage.

There she was, with an intimidating Phantom Knight by her side and a shining bow in her hand.

"What?! What do you mean 'make me'??" Pit asked in a baffled tone.

"You want me to finish you? Then come at me!" She beckoned him once again, knowing that he couldn't resist the urge to fight after being taunted by it.

"Ugh, why can't you just kill me now?! You're too annoying to fight..." The angel responded with a slight hint of anger in his voice.

"Hehe, you're really surrendering to a little princess, hmm?"

He was beginning to lose his temper with her again. "Can you SHUT UP?! JUST KILL ME ALREADY!"

"Awww, calm down little angel! I know it must be frustrating losing to a princess in a dress, bu-"

"_SHUT UP AND KILL ME!!!" _

"Like I said, make me! Don't you want your little toy back?" She began to dangle the bow in front of him to taunt him into approaching.

Enraged, the angel got up and dashed recklessly at the girl, screaming in anger as he ran. She was way too far under his skin to keep his cool at this point.

The princess stared in amusement as she watched her foolish opponent dash head first into yet another trap.

Pit suddenly found himself buried by a pitfall planted by Zelda to stop him in his tracks. She couldn't contain her irritating laughter and neither could the crowd. She skipped over to her furious foe and knelt down to his size right in front of him. "How's the weather down there?" Asked the princess to wind him up.

"WHAT THE HELL?!?! WHAT IS THIS??? WHERE DID YOU FIND A PITFALL?!?" He'd been completely caught off guard. It was as if the tricks up the princess's short sleeve were seemingly infinite.

"_Gotchaaa!!!"_ Zelda taunted in that infuriating tone of hers once again.

Steam was practically bursting out of Pit's ears at this point. "GRRRRRRRR! GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!!! LADY PALUTENA! HEEEEELP!"

"Sorry Pit! I told you I wasn't gonna help you this battle, remember?" The Goddess reminded him as she crunched on her popcorn. She was actually enjoying the show herself, seeing her tease him 24/7 was all too funny.

"OH COME ON!" Pit shouted in pure frustration.

"Ahahahaha! So much anger in your tone! Is little pitty losing his cool again?" Teased Zelda in a condescending tone to provoke him.

Infuriated by her comment, Pit desperately tried to strike the princess with his bare hands, but she sat just outside of his reach. The punches continued to barely scrape past her royal dress, making it even more frustrating since he was so close yet just barely outside of his range. That oh-so tormenting smirk on her face made him wanna punch it even more.

The princess dangled the bow just outside of his reach again. "Awww, looks like you won't be getting your little toy back!" She giggled as he desperately attempted to grab it out of her hands, but she was just too far away.

"GRRRRRRRR!!! GIVE IT BACK NOW!!" Screamed Pit in response to her taunt.

"Not with manners like that!" Zelda continued to treat her foe like a little boy to patronize him, and it was clearly effective.

"I AM _NOT _A CHILD." He began to smash the floor in anger as he shouted hysterically in his furious temper. She was clearly driving him insane.

Zelda couldn't stop giggling. All of his outbursts were just too funny. However, it was time for her to finish him. She began to stand up and take aim at her foe with his own weapon. "I'm no stranger to using a bow myself you know."

Her words terrified him. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" The angel screamed in a mix of fear and anger.

Zelda chuckled as she readied the illuminating arrow and aimed straight for her trapped opponent. "See yaaa!" Taunted the princess, shortly after releasing the arrow at its full power.

The arrow pierced straight through Pit and sent him soaring into the sky "I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO READ!.." Were his famous last words as he flew out of sight. Zelda waved him goodbye.

"AND THE WINNER IS... ZELDA!" Cheered the announcer as the crowd ran wild for the adorable Princess of Hyrule. The sheer amount of overwhelming support made her feel elated and overwhelmed with positive emotion. After performing an elegant curtsy to the crowd, she cheerfully waved to the people with a cute little smile on her face, charming them with her beauty. Everything had gone as expected in the little plan she devised in her head. Sometimes, being good looking can be her secret weapon in battle.

Back in the clouds, Pit returned to Palutena, only to find her giggling uncontrollably at the battle she just watched. It seemed like the poor angel just couldn't escape these annoying, condescending woman and was doomed to be taunted by them wherever he went. Poor little Pit.


End file.
